Stunt Baby

A Buick clipped the sidewalk in front of me careening on two wheels.  A baby in a soiled diaper clung to the open car door swinging wide toward me, terrified eyes wide, toes clutching the air parallel to the ground. He let go and flew.  I caught him, midair.

*This was just some fun fiction in 50 words.  With all my usual wordy bloviation, this was good discipline!

LOL Lizzie Curry (An Email Play)

SCENE ONE

(Two pools of light spill onto the stage. In one pool, an attractive woman at her desktop computer, typing. There is a large glass of water next to her.  In the other pool of light, a very tall Native American man enters and closes the “door” behind him pinching off the sounds of an appreciative audience and his walk-off music. He flings his cowboy hat on the dressing table. He has just completed a comedy stand-up set in Vegas. He sits, wipes his face with a towel, and flips open his laptop on his dressing table and begins clicking through emails.)

CHLOE

(She types and speaks as she does -)  To: FunnyGuyID10T@ yahoo.com
Subject:  Jacy is that you? 
Dear Funny Guy.  Sorry if this isn’t Jacy Nighthawk’s email. Just delete. But if it is Jacy Nighthawk – Hi, it’s me.   It’s Chloe.  I like the I-D-10-T handle…But you sell yourself short.  (She smiles and hits Send.)

JACY

(He is clicking through his mail with his mouse and stops abruptly.  He stands and paces, apparently troubled by what he saw on his screen. He leans over, clicks and types, speaking aloud - ) Reply.  LizzieCurry@ aol.com, how did you get this email address?

CHLOE

 There you are!  (She clicks and types -)  Aranck, your brother in New York.  He’s still walking the high steel on all the 9/11 restoration work.  He thought you’d be happy to hear from me.  He was happy to hear from me. He said that you are still on the road and this is the best way to say hi.  I love that your name means “moon” and his means “stars.”  So appropriate. (She proofs it out loud, pauses and “Send”s – She waits for a response and there is none.  Then she adds and “Send”s.)  Should I not email you?

JACY

(Who has been staring at the screen, types slowly and presses enter with hesitation.)  That’d be good.

CHLOE

Oh. No  (She types and speaks -) Reply. Well….Bye then.  Miss you.  Even after 27 years, Starbuck.
 

JACY

(He reacts as if shot by an arrow.)  Ah damn, she did it.  I knew she would deal that card. Not falling for it.  No.  Not gonna.  Nope.  (He stands resolutely for a beat.  Looks at his watch, looks at the ceiling, shakes it off, goes for the door, freezes…and then bolts to the keyboard.  He types and speaks -)  From: FunnyGuyID10T@yahoo.com, To:    LizzieCurry@ aol.com, Subject: Bad Mojo.  Chloe, you still there?

CHLOE

Ha!  Never underestimate…(She types and speaks -) I’m still here.  Knew you couldn’t resist the charms of the white she-devil from the past. Chat, kimo sabe?

JACY

(He laughs out loud and types -)  Reply. - Shit, woman, you haven’t changed.  You go first.  You started this.

CHLOE

Last chance, Chlo, don’t chase him away. (She types as she speaks.)  Ok. I’ve been following your tour.  Still slaying them in Vegas with that Native American collection of dark ironies I see.  Comedy didn’t seem to be your strong suit, Big Chief Grumpy Injun, but whatever.  I got married to a great normal guy, good job, two grown kids …It’s been a good life.  Not dramatic but good.

JACY

This is not good.  I should bail. (He types.) Reply.  Glad everything worked out, normal and all.

CHLOE

Hmmm.  There’s that cigar store Indian you hide behind, big puss. (She types and speaks -)  Life is good.  Better than you’ll ever know.  Live large, Crazy Horse.  That’s my advice to you. You’ll remember this. (She pauses and picks up an old theatrical Playbill. and she types-)  I’ve been remembering some of the highlights, and like it or not, you rank up there.  That’s why I wanted to find you.  Summer stock.   The Tempest, remember?  You did the Prospero to my Miranda…

 JACY

(He snorts and laughs and types with a smile.)  If you’ll recall, my Prospero was also energetically doing your Miranda every night before, during and after the show, the perv.  In the dressing room, the alley out back, the balcony, available vehicles. A shrink could dine out for days on that.  (He hits enter, thinks a little, flinches and types quickly-)  You’re husband doesn’t read your email?  I don’t want some balding Caucasian executive dude with a slide rule and a pocket protector gunning for me…

CHLOE

(She types carefully-) Reply. No worries.  He won’t be.  (Cheerfully.)  Remember some of the other plays we did?  Of Mice and Men? That scene with Lenny and Curley’s Wife?  They couldn’t pass up casting a 6 foot 6 inch tall redskin, could they?  If George wasn’t so flamingly gay, we might’ve had something there…You played quite a believable homicidal dimwit, I must say. From where did you draw your inspiration?  La! La!

JACY

(He brings up a belly laugh and types-) Reply.  Inspired by you, you maniac! And I truly enjoyed breaking your pretty little neck every night for two weeks…lol.  LOL means “laugh out loud” I think.

CHLOE

(She clicks the mouse and types smiling-)  Reply.  And The Rainmaker.  We were perfect.  Audiences wept.  Critics wet themselves. Big mess. (She pauses, straightens up and types) Starbuck Kennedy, Lizzie Curry loved you. So much.  Still do.  Love the memory. You were my Rainmaker.   Love you still. (She presses enter and covers her mouth.)

JACY

(He reads and  freaks, races out the door. A beat. He comes back in -) This is gonna stop here. (He types furiously -) Truth?  Here you go - Too much.  You loved me too much.  I couldn’t breathe. (He stabs “Send” and dissolves into his chair -)

CHLOE

(She puts her head down, then up, then types -) I know. I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know Tonto didn’t like to be tied down.  Too confining for native man.  We busted up so, so…I don’t know.

JACY

(He reads, writes, “Send”s)  I was an idiot to throw her in your face. She was nothing, trash…Not anything like you.

CHLOE

(She drinks the water as she reads, smiles and slowly types -) What was I like Starbuck?

JACY

I give up. I surrender. White flag, white she-devil.  (He clicks Reply and types and speaks-)  Well, you were goofy.  Beautiful.  Insecure. Blonde and passionate. Competitive, A pain in my ass. Conflicted.  Hot in the sack. A better writer than actress… There is a lot about you to list.  Hope you didn’t waste it on a suburban “big wheel in the driveway” life…

CHLOE

(She’s getting sleepy, but types and speaks with deliberation -) It doesn’t make any difference now, but did you love me?

JACY

(Jacy types, smiling, his body finally loose and open.)Yes.  I did.  Shields are down now.  For what it’s worth, I think of you on your birthday, on my birthday, on the fall equinox. Remember how we used to celebrate that? I did love you.  I  question why you cross my mind now even 27 years later.  (He pauses, hits “Send”.  He physically tries to suppress, but fails. And types -) My best guess is that I do still love you.  Some comedian here, eh? ha-ha.  A horse went into a bar…why the long face? blahdeblahdeblah.  You still unnerve me. (He hits “Send”.)

CHLOE

(She is laying her head down next to the keyboard to read now. She picks her head up with some effort to type.)  Thank u. I needed to hear.  So, I’m going to go now.  Gettg sleepy.  I can sleep now.

JACY

(Anxious not to lose contact, he types quickly -)  Wait, I’m not done Lizzie Curry.  Tell me more about you.  Your husband, kids.  Maybe we can meet up on my next tour…I know, come to Vegas!  Something for everybody here.  (He hits “Send” with bravado. Hopeful now –laughing, he types -) And what happens here stays here, if you want to come alone…Shit, I just propositioned a married woman.  I will rot in hell.  Wanna come anyway? (He “Send”s)

CHLOE

(Typing with difficulty, the pill bottle she knocks down rolls from the desk to her feet, she says-) th-They were beautiful, Jacy.  My flesh ‘nd blood.  My moon and stars.  My big wheel in the driveway. They went on ahead of me.   We crashed in mmMontana. Fuel line leak r simthin.  I survived, but got to say ggoodbye to them. They were llooking into my eyes, I was, ah, um, ssinging to them in the ccold, telling them not to be afraid, I’d see them soon, we’ll be together.  Chanting like what you used to do, in time with my heartbeat as their eyes closed one by one. Y did my heart keep beating?  I think some of your pppeople were with mmme.  Singinggg .  Starbuck, don’t panic…No tears. I’m going to b with them.  That’s why I needed to tie things up with you…I love you too. Love is huge…meant to spread out. Like a blanket.  Look fr me when you come ok? Needed to …nedded to sleepppppp.  (She rallies a little.) Yu no, I Question why I survIved……I belong ed  with them…but u needed 2 kno love too. So there it is. Lov. It is all bout  pls scuse typngg, sleeppey…
that u singginnng???

JACY

(The dawning is excruciating, he knows what she is doing, and Jacy is helpless. He types frantically -) Chloe, NO! Stop it.  I know funny and this isn’t. F’instance:  What do you call a truck full of Indian Agents going off a cliff?  A good start…Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ? Chloe, laugh. (He “Send”s and waits with mortal anxiety)


(Chloe has put her head down on the desk, closes her eyes, smiles. The pool of light surrounding her slowly irises down fading to dark during the following sequence.)

JACY

(Tries to use phone, tries to shake the computer, cries out, pauses and then sits to write.) Chloe LAUGH…LOL.  LOL. LOL Chloe, for me?  Lizzie Curry Laugh Out Loud…(He waits.  No response. Stands, wipes his eyes and slowly begins chanting her soul to rest.  At its crescendo - )

(Blackout)