Do's & Donuts around 3:15 am. Veeta is mopping the porch, a bucket,
bleach and her gun within reach. She alternates mop strokes with swigs from her
tumbler which she refills from a vodka bottle. Lights of a police car sweep
across her and she looks up and scrambles to hide the mop, towels and a certain
cocktail dress. She rapidly sits in her rocker with the gun across her knees.
A tall Native American law enforcement officer with a long black braid
down his back approaches the porch, takes off his hat and sits on the
Veeta. Earl again?
You wanta press charges?
Cecil’s tent’s down.
Damn. Sorry I couldn’t get here quicker.
That’s ok. I’ll take care of Cecil. You go on now. She pats him on the shoulder as she gets up; Willis looks at
the spot where she touched him.
I’ll help put Cecil back to right. I can… stay…you know. If you want…To
guard, you know. Like before…
NO. It’s ok Willis. Go on.
(Gathering resolve) Veeta, I truly think you need someone around
here more regular to make sure everything’s alright.
(With Molly Brown bravado) Well, you know better than that.
(Holding up her shotgun) Daddy left me “The Authority Stick” here and
it seems to do the trick. You oughtta know I can’t afford a body guard or a
security company, if that’s what you mean Chief...
I mean like a husband to you.
(Archly) Willis, that’s a cozy solution to what you think is a
problem here. Sweetie, I’m set in my ways. I like the seat down in the outhouse
and the cap on the toothpaste. I am irritating in my living patterns. I stay up
late with the owls and get up at the butt-crack of dawn. That alone is not
conducive to marital bliss. (She tries to lead him off the porch to leave)
Besides, who’d want a bossy old donut rollin’ flour-covered, crack shot,
vodka drinkin’, foul mouthed, workin’ woman like me? I ain’t no spring
(Interrupting, blurting, taking her by the shoulders, going for
broke)Woman, damn it, I’m tryin’ to say something here. I would. I mean I
would want your bossy-ass self. I’d marry you. Yes, I would. There it is… Willis and Veeta, both stunned, sit down awkwardly trying to
process the moment.
Well, honey, that’s the most words out loud I think I’ve ever heard you
Uh huh. Don’t like to waste ‘em.
I like that. You go on along now.
Veeta? You ok?
Fine, Willis. I’ll call you, honey. I’ll make you dinner, how’s that? And you
can guard me then. Just go on now… Willis takes her hand, and
kisses her gently on the lips and leaves hesitantly. But then he makes a
furious return to the porch to plant a big romantic kiss on Veeta after all, and
then beats a hasty retreat not really believing what he just did. Veeta is
ruffled and glowing in the aftermath.
Cecil emerges silently from the shadows, relights his lantern,
retrieves a pair of overalls from the wreckage of his tent, tugs them on and
starts straightening up his destroyed campsite area…Veeta shakes off the spell
of that kiss, props her gun against the chair and joins Cecil in his clean up.
Veeta finds and returns Cecil’s harmonica to him.
Cecil straightens with some reverence the homemade wooden sign on the porch
depicting a hand drawn, smiling, house cat and begins to replace the wooden
figures of bears, panthers and Indians carefully displaying them on the porch