Saturday, May 30, 2015

Do's & Donuts: Enter Earl

Do's & Donuts: Enter Earl

Do's & Donuts  Act 1, Scene 2

Do’s & Donuts about 3 am. The porch is quiet. Headlights sweep the front of the shop again and the sound of gravel crunches as someone gets out of a car and stumbles uncertainly up onto the porch. He is a large man, dressed in a suit in which he looks entirely out of place. He slouches into a chair, breathing heavily. He cradles a red Solo “to go” cup and says in a quiet voice…

Mira, you come on down here now. We’re goin’ home.

(From above window) I’m stayin’ here tonight Earl.

No. Nope. You’re not. Let’s go.
No, honey, I’m all settled in. I’ll be home to make you breakfast, I promise.

Mira, get your ass down here NOW!
He flings a chair. Mira and Veeta appear on the circular staircase fully dressed. Mira’s party dress is gone, replaced by slacks and blouse.
EARL, you will now get off my porch.
          (Prowling around looking at things, he focuses on the pup tent)
Make me, bitch. Mira move it!
(Whispering) Damn, he’s still worked up. I got to go Veeta or he’ll get too riled. You can give our “client” the best care anyway. I’ll be ok. (Louder) I’m comin’, honey, hang on. How ‘bout I make you a nice big cup of coffee when we get home?
(Whispering) Damn it, Mira…Don’t you dump this on me…
I’ll see you in the morning. Just stay cool. Sorry I puked.
That’s ok. But Mira…
What’s this? (Slowly drawing out the moment) Upon closer inspection, I see that you have been up to no good, Miss Veeta. Yessiree. (Mira and Veeta look fearfully from the stairs trying to see what has caught his attention.) I see evidence of quite an infraction of the LAW here. There is PHYSICAL evidence right here for anyone to see. And because I am RELATED to you by marriage, I am going to help you DISPOSE of it, so no one will see fit to haul your sorry ass into court. Why, if I don’t help you with this dilemma, sis, you could do time.  And although it would bring me great pleasure to think of what they'd do to you in jail, I feel a certain kinship here.
          (Mira and Veeta start down the stairs)
Veeta, dear sister-in-law, (He shouts) you still housing the homeless here? You stupid cow, you’re lowering the value of the real estate with this little tramp camp. My property value and everyone else’s is in danger of goin' tits up because of your half-assed notion of social responsibility.
          He circles the pup tent as a man clad in long johns emerges from it and backs away into the shadows.
You better get a move on Cecil…Time to MOVE ON!
          He kicks over the tent and rips down all of Cecil’s belongings, stomping everything in his path. He then topples over every wooden figurine on the porch.
(Producing and cocking a large shotgun)   Be on your way Earl, NOW! I called Willis.
(Sneering) “I called Willis.” Tonto to the rescue! Cherokee freak. (He puts on “Indian” voice) Kimo sabe save white woman from bad man, and make her his squaw. Ugh! You like the way he makes a teepee Veeta?
            Taking Mira by the back of her blouse and quick-stepping her from the porch -
Get in your car, Mira. G’night, sister-in-law. Looking forward to a jelly filled one after church on Sunday, darlin’.
         Car doors slam and gravel churns as Earl peals out of the parking lot with the sounds of Mira’s car traveling behind. Vera uncocks the shotgun and slumps.
If lightning don’t strike you first…


Loved it, and the images I got during the read.
It is a good piece, well worthy of an award in my view here.
Where are you going with this?? I will come back...
GREAT pacing. Love the, "it won an award" tag. But confess I already knew that. Rated. ;)
"It won an award" tag: you sure know how to keep them coming back for more. That makes me so curious!

And this was way too short!
Great writing.

Not sure I too much love the tired old "woman good - man evil" theme, but let's see how it all comes out.
Yep. Seen this sort of thing live and wrote about the not-infrequently horrifying aftermath. Nailed it, Linnnn.
Interesting piece, both tough and funny. What award did it win?
I am asking a Taxi to dump me off at Lea Lane's Union Rescue Mission so we can eat `
Krispy doe nut`
Stage Play Puck`
Puck was tricking`
O Kreme Crumb.
something better.
Linnn, whatever award you won, you deserve another one. Your talent knows no bounds and I really believe you'll have a big-time movie or play or whatever one day. Great Stuff!
Harrowing but familiar in any dialect any part of the world, unfortunately.
Runner up in the Women Playwrights' Initiative annual playwrighting competition a few years back. Plays were submitted from all over the southeastern U.S.

Yeah, skypixie, I know, but with all the focus on bullying lately, this play seemed timely. If you keep reading, you'll see why. Thanks everyone for keeping up with it...
Oh! I am so honored that Art is following too! And scanner, I wrote this with one specific theater in mind - Flatrock Playhouse in Hendersonville, N.C. Their summer audiences are more interested in the old tried and true plays like Arsenic and Old Lace, but you never know...Perhaps some day.

Thank you everyone for your kind attention.
Love the writing.
Love the name of the store....considering the combination, I'm not sure I would shop there, but....
Seriously, really liked this installment and am looking forward to reading more.
Just great Linnnn,
rated with hugs
This is such a raw story, well told, great dialog.
rated with love
This stuff is tough to write, but you do it so effortlessly. How dare you! Looking forward to the next one.....
How you can cram so much of life into such short bursts is amazing. I need more, more more. I can't wait for Earl's liver to fail, either.

Double Zumapick.
earl needs a hard knock to each shin.

Wow! Waiting for the next one.
Fine tight writing. The "red solo" cup wonderfully made the scene for me. Grand post.
Can you read my Tarot cards?
Good stuff here. I hate him already! R
ok, i officially hate earl. ready for the next act, kiddo, in a few minutes. gotta go help cecil put his stuff back together. excellent, linnn. more, please.
Oooh, delish! Though I must admit I was hoping at least one or two little pellets for Earl. You vixen you, sigh... I must wait.
Awesome! Good stuff!!!!!!!!!!! Rated with all paws and my tail!! :)

(You know, so it'll count!! :D)
Wow lady. Keep them coming! And congrats! ~r
Linnn, this is so cool! ~r
so well done, linnn. ...look how many of us you reeled in already! xo Thanks!
Good and very real grasp of language here. rated

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