Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Damnit! Redshoes Made Me Do It!

My bloggy friend Redshoes (Voted Next Most Likely to be Struck by Lightning, by me) tagged me to fill out an infuriating one of those f-ed up surveys, damn it.

I was going to kick your Mississippi ass for this, except I feel sorry for y'all's weather and all the man-made disasters and your government there and shit, and I like your inner meteorologist, so maybe just a light throttling.

Here 'tis -

(1) What is your most embarrassing moment of all time?

I don't get embarassed.  I get revenge.  Oh! No, wait.  Got it -

Miss Yohe, (Yes, I am naming names.) my drama teacher at children's theater when I was 7, decided that I, and three other little dancers were not executing her choreography precisely enough, and was rightfully rehearsing us over and over again until we got  it. We were dancing the roles of sparkling jewels in Aladdin's Magical Treasure Cave.  I was the Sapphire.  I wanted to be the Diamond, damnit.  But this rehearsal was particularly bad for me since I had stubbornly worn my jeans and sneakers that day instead of the mandated leotard and tights and ballet slippers. And Miss Yohe rightfully let me have it about that.  Over and over and over we did the number...

Thought I could wait it out. 


I had to pee. 

So I did. 

In front of everyone. 

Happy now?

(2) If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, what would it be?

Food for thought.  I need constant feeding in that category. 

I know, smart ass answer but I like the whole experience of food that nourishes the body too much to pick just one.  No, I am not fat.

(3) How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Twelve (horribly gangly brace-faced nerdaliscious self-conscious freaked-out) years old.   Backstage.  Big production of  A Christmas Carol. Played Mrs. Cratchit because I was tall and the little kids liked me.  Two shows that day, matinee and evening.  I was toasted and dozing  in the corner of the dressing room when a Spin-the-Bottle game broke out.  (Where the hell were our chaperones?)  John Mead, the cutest boy I ever saw, blonde, tanned surfer dude in Edwardian costume, spun that bottle and it landed on me.  So he kissed me hard and passionately on the mouth.  Even through the haze of all the whoo-hoooos and laughing, it was the best first kiss ever.

(4) What is your browser's home page?

Where the heart is....    

No. it's AOL.  Why would anyone care about that?

(5) What color do you never ever wear?

Pink.  Funny.  Never pink.  And I am a girlie-girl, mostly.  Think I'll go buy something pink today.  

I never wear yellow and brown together.

(6) Are you a nature lover, or a city slicker?

Depends on what's going on.  I habitually keep to the trees because I crave peace, but the sweaty chaos of the city in small doses is fresh.

(7) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? (None of that "more wishes" crap!)

1.  Perfect health
2.  Money
3.  Opportunities to help others with both.

(8) Do you have any scars? How did you get them??

Why yes.  Yes, I do.  Just got a dandy 14 incher from a surgery at Christmas to remove a big fat benign very rare "spindle cell schwanomma" from my tummy.  It is gorgeous!  The scar.  Not the tumor.  Looks like someone draped an osprey feather across my stomach from my belly button to my lower back.  Very primitive and feathery.  You can read the series I wrote about it starting here.

(9) Have you ever seen a ghost?

Every day.  Wrote about two really fun/freaky experiences hereAnd here.

(10) What is your dream job?

Own a Theater for New Works where someone else would manage the business and politics of the perpetual financial endowment under which it would be sheltered while I fooled around making plays and such with theatrical people who get no other forum.  There would be a Blog Lodge attached to showcase and publish the excellent writers amongst us.  EVERYBODY gets paid for their creative wares.  No worries about the mundane....Just create art 24/7.

I am supposed to list ten people here who are invited by me to do the survey.  Tell you what, if you want to, go ahead and do it!  All of y'all!  Just let me know in the comments here you did so everyone can come on by your place to see your answers.  Deal? 

I'm so lazy.  Toodles!



  1. Dear Linnnn,
    I like the city, but I like a garden and a woods too. a desert and a mountain. it's a struggle.

    no quiz for me. i like to spread those embarrassing moments out!

    Ann T.

  2. Sometimes you just gotta pee...

    I do wear pink.

    I try not to wear too much gray because it tends to wash me out.

  3. (10) What is your dream job?
    Until recently my answer was "Quality control manager at 'The Bunny Ranch'."
    But age takes it's toll.
    Now my sights are set on "Insuring Lazy Boy recliners work properly."

  4. Damn teachers of 7 year olds...happened to me while playing kickball and she wouldn't let me go inside to the bathroom, so I did it there all over my brown pants. Then she accused me of not letting her know I REALLY had to go. They scarred us for life!


Come on! Blurt, rant or engage in verbal disrobement! Anything goes, so indulge yourself right here, right now.